Bedtime Stories

My friend Liam Dunne invites me to be on his radio show "Bedtime Stories" on KMUN 91.9 from time to time. Usually I read stories other people have written, but this time Liam challenged me to write one myself. So, this story is about life in the country where I live, Astoria Oregon.

 Jack's Chowder

Once upon a time, not so very long ago, there lived a country boy named Jack. It is a well known fact that country boys know how to do a wide variety of things and make the best of what they have. This is something Jack really liked about living in the country.

One late summer morning, Jack was delivering some firewood to the smoke house in the town of Astoria so they could smoke their fine salmon. It was a beautiful day, so Jack decided to take a walk along the Columbia River, which is the big river there. Astoria is a very old town has many fancy Victorian homes overlooking the river, and Jack's friend Tyler lived in one of them. Tyler happened to see Jack walking along the river and joined him for his walk.

Tyler talked about all the new things that were going on in town, new shops and his art gallery opening, and Jack told Tyler about the new shed he'd built to keep his firewood dry and how he was looking forward to digging for razor clams later that day.

Tyler mentioned the last catch of razor clams Jack had brought him and  the delicious chowder he made from them. Tyler continued, saying "you know, Jack, I have a friend named Sara who is coming to visit tomorrow. I think she would be very impressed if you made some of your chowder. She said she is bringing the entire cast of her new tv show."This sounded impressive to Jack. He agreed to make chowder for them and set off to gather the ingredients right away.

Jack drove his farm truck to the beach and took out his bucket and clam shovel. The tide was very low, a minus tide, and so there were lots of other people out on the beach digging too. Since the razor clams at Fort Stevens beach are plentiful, Jack dug up his limit of 15 clams in just an hour. "What a feast this will make" he thought. Then he started to think about what Tyler had said about Sara and the entire cast of her show. He started to worry that maybe there would be lots of people and he should make a very big batch of chowder. As he was thinking about this however, he forgot to watch where he was walking and tripped over a piece of driftwood sticking up out of the sand. He fell and tipped over the entire bucket of razor clams. He was able to grab hold of three, but most of the clams quickly dug down in the sand and were gone. The tide was quickly coming in, so there was no time to dig more. "Well, three will have to do. They are good sized ones at least."

Jack put the bucket with the razor clams in his farm truck, and noticed several people walking into the forest near where he was parked. He said to himself, "last week's rain must have brought up some mushrooms. I know a good spot where they grow well." He drove just a little further to the South Jetty, at the far end of Fort Stevens Park. He took a large paper bag and started out into the forest hoping there would be many. He walked for quite a while, and though there had been many mushrooms, they were either already picked or half eaten by deer. Discouraged, he started back for his truck. On the way back he did find a few nice chanterelles he missed on his way in. "I am lucky to find these. These are nice quality, and will add to the flavor of my chowder," he thought.

Jack drove home wondering how in the world he would make enough chowder for his friend and an entire cast of a tv show with just three clams and some chantrelle mushrooms. He passed his neighbor, Mary, who had dairy goats and he knew goat milk would make the best chowder. As luck would have it, she was out in front of her house trying to convince a naughty goat to go ino the barn for milking time. Jack stopped and asked, "Hi Mary, do you have extra milk today?" "Yes", she said. "I have a good two gallons because I'm almost finished milking. I just have this one last goat to milk." So, he followed her back into the milking room only to discover one of the goats had knocked over the entire milk bucket.
"Goats! Well, this last goat only gives a few quarts, but her milk is the best, so that's the good news." Jack was grateful the naughty little goat gave a good half gallon, but still worried if it would be enough for Tyler, Sara, and everyone she was bringing with her.

Once home, Jack put the milk and chanterelles away, and set about preparing the razor clams for chowder. As he worked, he glanced out the kitchen window to see that the blackberry vines along his driveway were covered with ripe berries. "That's what else to bring," he said to himself. After carefully putting the clams away, he set out along his driveway and then the main road with a huge bowl and picked blackberries until it was nearly dark. His bowl was very full, but he saw a few more of the most perfect berries just a little out of reach. He set his bowl down on the side of the road and managed to reach them. Just then, a big blue 4x4 truck came roaring around the curve in the road, and drove right over the whole bowl of blackberries, crushing them under the big tires. Jack shook his head. "This is not good, but the blackberries from this last vine are the best, so that is good."

The next day, Jack set about making his chowder. In his best stockpot, he put the goat milk, the Chanterelle mushrooms, and the razor clams, all chopped nicely. He added a huge sweet onion from his garden, and some potatoes his neighbor brought by. Jack added the finishing touch, some fresh herbs from his window sill, and gave the chowder a little taste as the scent of the chowder began to be so delicious. "There isn't a lot, but this chowder is very good, and making the very best with what you have is the country way."
With that, he carefully placed the stockpot of chowder and small basket of blackberries in his farm truck, and off to town he went, very, very carefully.

Once he got to Tyler's Victorian, he expected to see at least a dozen cars, because every time he thought of Sara's tv show cast, he had imagined more and more people visiting. But, there was only one small car. He walked up the steps and Tyler opened the door to help. Jack walked inside to find just Tyler and his friend Sara.

Jack looked about. "Hi Sara, nice to meet you, and welcome to Astoria! I am confused. Tyler said you were bringing your tv show cast?"
"They are all here," said Sara, smiling, holding up a small tablet computer. Sara's internet show was animated, so her entire cast fit neatly in her hand. Jack began to smile. He had worried there wouldn't be enough chowder for everyone, and now there would be more than plenty, because animated characters would have no use for his chowder.

Sara, Tyler, and Jack all sat down with big bowls of Jack's chowder, and some fresh bread Tyler bought in town that morning. Sara had brought some ice cream, which was perfect with the fresh blackberries for dessert. They talked and talked over their wonderful dinner about Jack's adventures in finding all the ingredients, and Tyler and Sara agreed it was the best they had ever tasted.

Sara was so impressed with Jack, decided she should make a new character for her show, and it must be a county boy named Jack, who knows how to make the very best out of what
there is!

Gluten Free Blackberry Cobbler

That moment when you realize your favorite goat has been eating blackberries out of the bowl as quickly as you have been picking them. Similarly, that moment when your favorite goat girl sees the purple on your chin and says the blackberry service is over. Dang! (Dang!)

I did manage to pick enough blackberries out of reach of my goat Jelly for a nice cobbler.

Gluten Free Blackberry Cobbler

3 cups fresh blackberries
1 cup sugar

1 cup brown rice flour
1/4 tsp xanthan gum
1/2 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 cup fresh goat milk
1/2 cup goat butter or olive oil

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Prepare a 9"x2"deep pie dish with olive oil or coking spray. In a medium bowl, place blackberries and sugar, stirring to mix, and set aside. In another medium bowl, add the rest of the ingredients and mix well. Place flour mixture into the pie dish and spoon the blackberry mixture over the top. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes, until the crust is well browned. Serve warm or cold. Tastes great with vanilla frozen goat milk yogurt.

Penny Wise Goats

There is a thrift store in Warrenton the next town over named Penny Wise, it supports a mental health charity. The lady who runs the store, named Pat is sweet and teases me about how long and curly my hair is.

Pat sells my soaps in her shop, and in turn I donate two dollars from every soap to her charity. I knew I would have quite a few babies for the year so to help a little more I decided to raffle two of them with the winning ticket drawn on the opening day of Sunday Market.

The tickets went really fast and we noticed the market manager was buying quite a few. It turned out for the best because she won the goats and was happy to win them. So off they went to live in her backyard with a very nice view and be completely spoiled rotten. As it should be.

It was also good news for Pat and the mental health charity because we raised over $400 and still she teases me about my hair.

Elsa's Goats

My original herd of five goats was getting older and not producing as much milk as when they where younger. That"s okay, they've given us a lot of milk and kids and deserve to relax awhile. But, there was still increasing demand for milk and soap.

I talked to my friend Elsa from whom i had gotten my original goats. She said she had too many goats, some of which where ready to freshen, and that she would loan them to me to milk. I thought one would be okay, but when she brought the goat over she brought another five goats!


It was a little crazy at first to have this many goats and even more so when the babies arrived. Once i got organized i finely had enough milk for my costumers.

Sweet Toggenburg does from left to right: Darling, Crinoline, Jenny and Special. And Pudding, also a Toggenburg came a few weeks later.

Chocolate Chevre Crazy Cake

Sometimes in the winter, the cheese I make from my goats' milk comes out very soft. It is thicker than yogurt, but still softer than cream cheese. I think its the cooler temperatures and that the goats are thinking about their spring babies. I leave the cheese unsalted, and add it to recipes in place of milk or yogurt. This Crazy Cake recipe is from the depression era, when eggs and butter were scarce, and was called crazy because vinegar is added. It is simple and allows for lots of variation, including this gluten free version.

Chocolate Chevre Crazy Cake

1 1/2 cups rice flour
1 cup sugar
3 tbsps cocoa powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp xanthan gum
1 cup yogurt or very soft chevre
6 tbsps olive oil
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar
1 tsp vanilla extract

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Prepare large well cupcake or muffin pans with olive oil or cooking spray. In a large bowl, place all ingredients adding dry then wet ingredients and mix until well blended. Place in pan filling each well half full. Bake 10 to 15 minutes until center is set. Remove to cooling rack and cool completely before frosting. Makes 6 large cupcakes.
Chevre Frosting
2 pounds powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup very soft chevre, approximately

Place in a medium bowl and mix with hand mixer until smooth frosting consistency.

Trail Mix Cinnamon Rolls

It's a bit of a torture to walk into those large grocery stores that have in-house bakeries on the days they make cinnamon rolls. The seem like they will taste so yummy, but then, well, they don't, and an hour later there is the carb crash, so yuck all around. While I haven't been able to make an exact replacement for cinnamon rolls using rice flour, I have found that with the extra protein of seeds in trail mix I feel full until lunch. This recipe has water and olive oil, which can also be replaced with my favorite fresh goat milk and goat butter. The trail mix I used had dried papaya, raisins, dried cranberries, pumpkin seeds, sunflower kernels, almonds, and dried apples. The moisture from the fresh cut apple in the filling steams all the dried fruit and softens the nuts.

3 cups whole wheat flour, plus about 1 cup additional for work surfaces
1 package quick-rise yeast
1 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
2 tbsp olive oil
1 1/4 cup warm water (120 degrees)

Filling
1 cup trail mix
1 finely chopped fresh apple
1/4 cup brown sugar

Granola Topping
1 cup whole oats (not quick cooking)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup olive oil

In a large bowl add flour, yeast, salt, cinnamon, warm water, olive oil. Mix with a spoon to form a sticky dough, add one to two handfuls of flour and lightly knead for one to two minutes until soft dough forms. Cover with plastic wrap and place in a warm locaion for an hour where dough should roughly double in size. Prepare an 8x8 inch baking pan with olive oil. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix filling ingredients together in a small bowl, set aside. Mix granola ingredients together in a small bowl and set aside.


Once risen, turn out on to a floured surface. Knead for five minutes adding flour as necessary. Roll out to about 12 inches by 18 inches. Spread trail mix, chopped apple, and brown sugar evenly on top of dough, leaving a half inch border around all edges. Carefully roll and press gently together to form a uniformly thick log. Slice in 2 inch rolls and place cross sections facing up in prepared pan. Top with granola topping and bake at 350 degrees for 30 to 40 minutes,until center is set, and granola topping is browned and crispy. Allow to cool slightly before serving. Makes nine large rolls.

Dark Chocolate Chevre Truffles

Super simple and super rich these are fast to make ahead of time. They can also be made sugar free or savory by using unsweetened chocolate.

1 cup of soft goat cheese
10 ounces dark chocolate pieces or unsweetened chocolate
2 teaspoons olive oil.
1-2 cups items to roll truffles in, like sprinkles, crushed nuts, instant coffee, candy bits, or if adventurous  ground chili pepper

Line a cookie sheet with foil and set aside. Place chocolate pieces in a medium bowl and microwave on high until melted, about 2 minutes, stirring after each minute. Stir in the olive oil to temper the chocolate and set aside. Place the goat cheese in a small bowl and microwave on high until very soft, about a minute, checking after 30 seconds. Stir cheese into chocolate, mixing until smooth. Drop by tablespoonfuls onto the foil lined cookie sheet and refrigerate 20 minutes until more firm, but not completely solidified. Place sprinkles in a saucer, and roll each chocolate into a ball or other shapes, then roll to coat in the sprinkles. Set in mini-muffin papers or candy cups, then refrigerate until serving. Truffles will keep up to a week in the fridge. Makes 18